apologies to MLK, but i just feel so good today.
about 6 weeks ago, i quit my job, and today was my last day.
and I feel good.
I'm hoping that over the next couple of days, the twitch in my eye will go away.
and then, i will be peaceful. for a few days. and i will clean, and replace my bike battery, and buy some new clothes, and watch Opr@h and D.r Ph.il. and it will be ace.
i'm going to cook the workie a slap up dinner. i might even make him pork if he's lucky. or a whole roast chicken. i don't know, but i want to surprise him, and spoil him, and try somehow in a meal to convey just how special and loved and amazing he makes me feel. that is a lot for one roast chicken to try to live up to, but i'll give it a crack!
and then i start my new job. it is going to be crazy busy, and a lot of people in this town think that i have taken a step backwards, and i disagree and can't wait to start.
woohoo! I think this is the start of good things.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
the precipice
i'm getting more and more nervous about my new job.
I was supposed to be starting much later this year, but the other girl who was supposed to start ASAP bailed on the job. after she'd given them written acceptance. don't even get me started on how completely stupid i think she is. talk about burning bridges. holy crap.
she keeps e-mailing and texting me. but i'm kinda mad at her. i can't help it. she's put so many people out, and i find that really frustrating. plus, there were a lot of people who put a lot of time into helping her sort herself out. she kept telling us how she hated her job, so we encouraged her to apply for this new one, and we did everything we could. one girl spent literally hours on the phone to her, and we are all disappointed.
and i think i'm a little frightened. of the change, of the unknown.
see, whenever i tell someone about my new job, the eyebrows raise, they make that funny grunting noise. i'm sure that most of it is pure snobbery. i'm leaving private practice to join the government department. i won't earn as much in the long term. i won't ever become the big boss. i don't know that i really want to be that. certainly not at my age.
but its the precipice. i'm looking, and i'm scared!
I was supposed to be starting much later this year, but the other girl who was supposed to start ASAP bailed on the job. after she'd given them written acceptance. don't even get me started on how completely stupid i think she is. talk about burning bridges. holy crap.
she keeps e-mailing and texting me. but i'm kinda mad at her. i can't help it. she's put so many people out, and i find that really frustrating. plus, there were a lot of people who put a lot of time into helping her sort herself out. she kept telling us how she hated her job, so we encouraged her to apply for this new one, and we did everything we could. one girl spent literally hours on the phone to her, and we are all disappointed.
and i think i'm a little frightened. of the change, of the unknown.
see, whenever i tell someone about my new job, the eyebrows raise, they make that funny grunting noise. i'm sure that most of it is pure snobbery. i'm leaving private practice to join the government department. i won't earn as much in the long term. i won't ever become the big boss. i don't know that i really want to be that. certainly not at my age.
but its the precipice. i'm looking, and i'm scared!
Monday, September 17, 2007
News!
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! I quit my job! i am pumped, and slightly terrified all at once! I have got a new job, doing more of the bits that I love, and less of the bits that i don't, all for the government. Woohoo! I'm a public servant!
From what i've heard, the expectations in this job are so much more fabulous than my current job, and i just can't wait! plus, i'm going to be able to stop doing some of the truly crappy bits!
I'm slightly terrified, and that's a good sign i think. i think that it means that this is a decision that is frightening, and exciting. it also means that it is one i have had to think long and hard about.
really, i've been thinking for about 2 years, and waiting for this opportunity to come up again. i didn't do it last time, and i have regretted that for a long time. and now... i just want a start date, so that i can get on with it. plus, i want to try and get a 2 week break between jobs, and so i need to give notice as soon as i can.
ooh, and on the boy front... i think he might be thinking seriously about exciting questions. i hope so. i love this man so much, and i just want to be able to display that in some other way. to show it off more than i do. i want his name. i want him, all the time.
From what i've heard, the expectations in this job are so much more fabulous than my current job, and i just can't wait! plus, i'm going to be able to stop doing some of the truly crappy bits!
I'm slightly terrified, and that's a good sign i think. i think that it means that this is a decision that is frightening, and exciting. it also means that it is one i have had to think long and hard about.
really, i've been thinking for about 2 years, and waiting for this opportunity to come up again. i didn't do it last time, and i have regretted that for a long time. and now... i just want a start date, so that i can get on with it. plus, i want to try and get a 2 week break between jobs, and so i need to give notice as soon as i can.
ooh, and on the boy front... i think he might be thinking seriously about exciting questions. i hope so. i love this man so much, and i just want to be able to display that in some other way. to show it off more than i do. i want his name. i want him, all the time.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
man flu
I have man flu from the workie.
apparently, my requests to please not cough/sneeze all over me were not enough.
so now i'm sick. and he promised to do the dishes to make me feel better today.
but he didn't. so i don't feel good, and there are dishes everywhere.
boo hiss.
oh, and i saw the copper today. made some lame story about wanting to check up on work stuff when he called the workie, and kinda checked in on how much trouble i was in with the workie because of his text. boo hiss to him too.
apparently, my requests to please not cough/sneeze all over me were not enough.
so now i'm sick. and he promised to do the dishes to make me feel better today.
but he didn't. so i don't feel good, and there are dishes everywhere.
boo hiss.
oh, and i saw the copper today. made some lame story about wanting to check up on work stuff when he called the workie, and kinda checked in on how much trouble i was in with the workie because of his text. boo hiss to him too.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
change is in the wind
well, I don't want to say any thing yet, because i'm not sure if anyone reads this, and i don't want to let the cat out of the bag, but i'm hoping to have exciting news in about 3 weeks.
wow.
i can't believe i sent the application in, let alone that it might actually lead to something.
I think that this is the most exciting thing i've done in ages.
very cool.
in news i can talk far more about, this copper who i was chasing about 12 months ago has been calling. It was the Police and firemans ball on the weekend, and i went with the workie and some other friends. usually the best night of the year, but the band was way to mellow this year, so the dancing sucked and i wasn't nearly as naughty as I have been in the past.
anyways, 'the copper' as he is known didn't go this year. He told me 2 different stories as to why. the first version was that he didn't like the ball. plausible i guess. the second was that he is now under the thumb. more likely in my view.
anyways, we ran into him at one of the pubs after the ball, and it turned out that he was actually working on the night, and said that he would drive us home. taxi's tend to be at a bit of a premium on P&F night, so that was a great option. he gave me his number (in front of the workie and with his knowledge i might add, don't want anyone thinking i'm some crazy hussy!) and i put it in the phone.
We did call him later, and arrangements were made to take my friend home to her place. anyways, i ran into him on tuesday, and he asked why doesn't the workie like me? i said that the workie didn't dislike him, because that is the truth. I think that maybe the workie thinks he's a bit of a tool, but he doesn't dislike him or anything. he sent me a text after that, saying something like 'you're hot' and some crappy work stuff after that. unfortunately for him, it was the workies phone that i had used on Saturday night, and he obviously didn't realise!
lucky for me the workie thinks its hysterical. he is so inspiringly trusting of me, and i love him more for that. he knows i'm only interested in one man, and that is him. accordingly, he thinks its funny, not problematic. yay!
anyways, we didn't send anything back, and so he tried to call me last night... and got the workies message bank. now i would feel kinda bad for him, and i would have set him straight, except that this is a grown man, with a bad track record, who knows i am very happily involved, and has been with the same girl for about 11 months himself! serves him right!
am i right?
wow.
i can't believe i sent the application in, let alone that it might actually lead to something.
I think that this is the most exciting thing i've done in ages.
very cool.
in news i can talk far more about, this copper who i was chasing about 12 months ago has been calling. It was the Police and firemans ball on the weekend, and i went with the workie and some other friends. usually the best night of the year, but the band was way to mellow this year, so the dancing sucked and i wasn't nearly as naughty as I have been in the past.
anyways, 'the copper' as he is known didn't go this year. He told me 2 different stories as to why. the first version was that he didn't like the ball. plausible i guess. the second was that he is now under the thumb. more likely in my view.
anyways, we ran into him at one of the pubs after the ball, and it turned out that he was actually working on the night, and said that he would drive us home. taxi's tend to be at a bit of a premium on P&F night, so that was a great option. he gave me his number (in front of the workie and with his knowledge i might add, don't want anyone thinking i'm some crazy hussy!) and i put it in the phone.
We did call him later, and arrangements were made to take my friend home to her place. anyways, i ran into him on tuesday, and he asked why doesn't the workie like me? i said that the workie didn't dislike him, because that is the truth. I think that maybe the workie thinks he's a bit of a tool, but he doesn't dislike him or anything. he sent me a text after that, saying something like 'you're hot' and some crappy work stuff after that. unfortunately for him, it was the workies phone that i had used on Saturday night, and he obviously didn't realise!
lucky for me the workie thinks its hysterical. he is so inspiringly trusting of me, and i love him more for that. he knows i'm only interested in one man, and that is him. accordingly, he thinks its funny, not problematic. yay!
anyways, we didn't send anything back, and so he tried to call me last night... and got the workies message bank. now i would feel kinda bad for him, and i would have set him straight, except that this is a grown man, with a bad track record, who knows i am very happily involved, and has been with the same girl for about 11 months himself! serves him right!
am i right?
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
i miss my mummy and daddy
my parents are away, they've been gone for 2 months, and won't be back for 2 more, and i miss her.
and not just because there is a huge pile of washing in our laundry.
not just because it was inspection day today and we cleaned our own house. (that was actually really satisfying!)
not because i would like to have some help hanging some stuff around the house.
but because i have a couple of exciting, but huge decisions to make, and I miss them
i love being this age, because i have such a special relationship with them, and i respect their opinions, and they give such good advice, and I could use some reassurance (and maybe a free feed and dad's beer!) and its just not the same on the phone.
i'm excited that they are having fun, and that they aren't waiting to retire to do stuff because i would hate for them to get hit by a bus and miss out on that fun stuff.
but i miss them.
and not just because there is a huge pile of washing in our laundry.
not just because it was inspection day today and we cleaned our own house. (that was actually really satisfying!)
not because i would like to have some help hanging some stuff around the house.
but because i have a couple of exciting, but huge decisions to make, and I miss them
i love being this age, because i have such a special relationship with them, and i respect their opinions, and they give such good advice, and I could use some reassurance (and maybe a free feed and dad's beer!) and its just not the same on the phone.
i'm excited that they are having fun, and that they aren't waiting to retire to do stuff because i would hate for them to get hit by a bus and miss out on that fun stuff.
but i miss them.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
trust
I hate being paranoid.
i hate not really trusting him.
i hate that him telling me "i'm not going anywhere" is not nearly as comforting as I want it to be.
and for that, i blame the ex.
i blame him for these trust issues. because i did trust him, and he dogged me.
i know that the workie is a different man.
I know that the workie is a better man.
but the damage is done, and i don't know how to fix it.
i hate not really trusting him.
i hate that him telling me "i'm not going anywhere" is not nearly as comforting as I want it to be.
and for that, i blame the ex.
i blame him for these trust issues. because i did trust him, and he dogged me.
i know that the workie is a different man.
I know that the workie is a better man.
but the damage is done, and i don't know how to fix it.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Lazy Saturday!
With the workie away for the weekend, i am having a lovely time doing abosultely nothing! I forgot to eat until about 4, I just wasn't hungry. I don't think that surfing the net and showering are known for working up huge appetites!
I did catch up with a really old friend today, and it was good, but strange. She's getting married, and was saying about how she had always imagined planning it with me. we drifted really badly when we went to uni, in part because she went to the city and i went to the country. i would love to be involved, because I just love a wedding! but i wasn't going to try and push my way in, because that is a) strange and b)not my style. i need her to invite me. just say the word and i'll be happy to help, i was even joking with her about shopping for shoes, because she has huge feet and i remember her complaining when we did our debs that she may as well buy white boats, because no-one makes nice shoes in her size!
i really must clean my house, because it is beyond disgusting, and clean up the kitchen before the workie comes home and messes it all up again, but I think that can wait until tomorrow. tonight i'm going to surf some more, and then i might watch iron chef before i crawl into bed.
the mess is so overwhelming that i don't know where to start yet, so i think i won't start at all! that is so bad, i know i will feel so much better when it is done, and waking up to a clean house does rock, but if i clean tomorrow, it leaves me something very small to look forward to on Monday, and i think i'll need all the help I can get!
I was invited out tonight, but i bailed when i found out that she had plenty of other people to play with. I just don't wanna go outside, i am loving having a day to myself of doing absolutely nothing. I'm even watching Dr Who, which is a little weird!
I did catch up with a really old friend today, and it was good, but strange. She's getting married, and was saying about how she had always imagined planning it with me. we drifted really badly when we went to uni, in part because she went to the city and i went to the country. i would love to be involved, because I just love a wedding! but i wasn't going to try and push my way in, because that is a) strange and b)not my style. i need her to invite me. just say the word and i'll be happy to help, i was even joking with her about shopping for shoes, because she has huge feet and i remember her complaining when we did our debs that she may as well buy white boats, because no-one makes nice shoes in her size!
i really must clean my house, because it is beyond disgusting, and clean up the kitchen before the workie comes home and messes it all up again, but I think that can wait until tomorrow. tonight i'm going to surf some more, and then i might watch iron chef before i crawl into bed.
the mess is so overwhelming that i don't know where to start yet, so i think i won't start at all! that is so bad, i know i will feel so much better when it is done, and waking up to a clean house does rock, but if i clean tomorrow, it leaves me something very small to look forward to on Monday, and i think i'll need all the help I can get!
I was invited out tonight, but i bailed when i found out that she had plenty of other people to play with. I just don't wanna go outside, i am loving having a day to myself of doing absolutely nothing. I'm even watching Dr Who, which is a little weird!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Internet at Home Hooray!
Internet at home, finally! The workie has moved in, and we got wireless connected just this week. I was never really game to post from work, and I didn't like posting from my parents place. I had a girlfriend nearly lose her job for some not so cautious blogging at the office, and I like being able to do this without worrying that my parents will find it!
In recent news, the workie and i went to fi.ji and s@moa this year, it was so amazing, and i think i will pop a couple of pics on here just to make someone salivate with jealousy! this first one i'm trying to put up is a beautiful shot of the beach on tre@sure isl@nd. I don't want to put my face up on here yet, so i'm trying to find a couple of good ones without us in them! By the way, I can't say enough about the people on Tre@sure Isl@nd, they were the friendliest people we met by far, and they made our holiday amazing.
The workie and i just fell in love with the chapel on this island. I think I have a couple of pics here, and so I'll pop one up on here as well. So so beautiful!
In recent news, the workie and i went to fi.ji and s@moa this year, it was so amazing, and i think i will pop a couple of pics on here just to make someone salivate with jealousy! this first one i'm trying to put up is a beautiful shot of the beach on tre@sure isl@nd. I don't want to put my face up on here yet, so i'm trying to find a couple of good ones without us in them! By the way, I can't say enough about the people on Tre@sure Isl@nd, they were the friendliest people we met by far, and they made our holiday amazing.
The workie and i just fell in love with the chapel on this island. I think I have a couple of pics here, and so I'll pop one up on here as well. So so beautiful!
and i've got one of the view looking out from the inside of the chapel. I just loved this chapel, i don't think i am going to have one of my more eloquent days trying to describe it! The whole feeling around it was peaceful, because it is right at the end of the island, and it was beautiful.
after Tre@sure Isl@nd, we went to Samo@. I have a couple of pics I want to show you. The first is of Vav@u, which the workie declared to be the sexiest beach in the world. You pay 20 T@la to the Village who own the beach to get in, and workie and I debated if it was really worthwhile. I mean, once you've seen one beautiful beach, you've seen them all, right? oh, how wrong we were! it was amazing! I'm not sure that these pics will really do it justice, but it was so incredible. When I look at these photo's, I can close my eyes, and i feel like i am back there in a flash! see for yourself....
amazing! I may post a few more pics in the next few days. now that i have the internet, i think that it will be much easier and so i'm hoping to become a regular blogger.
........plus, based on some of our conversations at the chapel, i think that i may have some more interesting stuff to blog about... planning... maybe. don't wanna jinx anything!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
damn dreams!
so, my job is kinda stressfull. I don't want to say too much about it, but i have responsibility for a lot of different jobs at any one time (up to 75 I guess) all for different clients. its a lot of balls to keep in the air.
And they worry me. I stress out, and when it gets really bad, they invade my life. I think about them on the loo (total tmi I know!) and in the shower, and while I'm walking to work, and making my dinner.
And then, they totally cross the line, and I start to dream about them. and thats when I get kinda mad. I know it isn't their fault, (they don't actually have to do anything except exist, and without them my job doesn't exist!) but I still feel totally invaded, and i just want them to stop.
so, i'm asking for advice. Do you feel like your job invades your life? how do you leave it behind at the door when you go home? I know that they say if you love your job, you'll never work a day, and i am well aware that this could be indicative of my general unhappiness in my job, but a lot of the time i love my work, and i get a lot of satisfaction from it, because i am a helper most of the time, but the dreams have got to stop!
incidentally, i also dreamt about stealing from people and trying to give it back before they discovered the other night, and I had to wake myself up to convince myself that i wasn't a theif.
even in my dreams i'm a fraidy cat when it comes to breaking the rules!
on a very exciting note though, i'm going to book the holiday tomorrow for the workie and i. i'm really excited about this, it will be so cool!
And they worry me. I stress out, and when it gets really bad, they invade my life. I think about them on the loo (total tmi I know!) and in the shower, and while I'm walking to work, and making my dinner.
And then, they totally cross the line, and I start to dream about them. and thats when I get kinda mad. I know it isn't their fault, (they don't actually have to do anything except exist, and without them my job doesn't exist!) but I still feel totally invaded, and i just want them to stop.
so, i'm asking for advice. Do you feel like your job invades your life? how do you leave it behind at the door when you go home? I know that they say if you love your job, you'll never work a day, and i am well aware that this could be indicative of my general unhappiness in my job, but a lot of the time i love my work, and i get a lot of satisfaction from it, because i am a helper most of the time, but the dreams have got to stop!
incidentally, i also dreamt about stealing from people and trying to give it back before they discovered the other night, and I had to wake myself up to convince myself that i wasn't a theif.
even in my dreams i'm a fraidy cat when it comes to breaking the rules!
on a very exciting note though, i'm going to book the holiday tomorrow for the workie and i. i'm really excited about this, it will be so cool!
Friday, January 19, 2007
Update as requested!
wow, its been a long long time.
Where to start?
I guess I should take up from the last post, and update my love life.
I really meant it when I said that the workie and I were just friends. I tried really hard. But he is so damn cute, and so damn sweet, and we've been together for about 4 months now. And I'm totally smitten.
I'm actually really wishing I could post a pic, but I don't think that would be fair. He's about 6'1, has short hair (love short hair, have a real weakness for a boy with a fresh haircut) these sexy eyes, and more than that, he's just ace. Man, I am such an eloquent person when it comes to the workie. I'm sure that anyone reading this must be completely underwhelmed by his wonderfulness. I'll try and do better next time. I'll have a think about it and write a better post about it all this week.
He makes me laugh a lot, although he was telling me last night on our way to the tennis that he wished that he made me laugh less. That's only because he has started to laugh like me, which wouldn't be a problem, except i have a terrible laugh (for a bloke!) I think my laugh is ok, and he says its cute on me, but that its terrible on him, and i have to agree!
What else... we're planning a holiday. I know I have to stop comparing him to my old boyfriend, because that it is terribly unfair to the workie, but I'm just struck all the time by how much better i feel, and how terrible my last relationship was towards the end.
Like, I couldn't get my ex to commit to our plans for the weekend more than about 2 days in advance. And planning a holiday together? forget about it! Unless it was camping with his family between christmas and new years, not a hope for me!
But with the workie, its so easy. We're planning a holiday in june together. and not just any holiday - we're going overseas, to an island resort for 2 weeks. i'm so excited, I could just burst! We're going to be able to spend 2 weeks drinking cocktails from coconuts, and lazing on the beach, and scuba diving. I'm really hoping to learn how to surf, because I have always wanted to do that.
Anyways, I think I'd better get moving now. I have just finished making a couple of doorstops for my little unit at my parents place, so i might head home and decide on some dinner.
Where to start?
I guess I should take up from the last post, and update my love life.
I really meant it when I said that the workie and I were just friends. I tried really hard. But he is so damn cute, and so damn sweet, and we've been together for about 4 months now. And I'm totally smitten.
I'm actually really wishing I could post a pic, but I don't think that would be fair. He's about 6'1, has short hair (love short hair, have a real weakness for a boy with a fresh haircut) these sexy eyes, and more than that, he's just ace. Man, I am such an eloquent person when it comes to the workie. I'm sure that anyone reading this must be completely underwhelmed by his wonderfulness. I'll try and do better next time. I'll have a think about it and write a better post about it all this week.
He makes me laugh a lot, although he was telling me last night on our way to the tennis that he wished that he made me laugh less. That's only because he has started to laugh like me, which wouldn't be a problem, except i have a terrible laugh (for a bloke!) I think my laugh is ok, and he says its cute on me, but that its terrible on him, and i have to agree!
What else... we're planning a holiday. I know I have to stop comparing him to my old boyfriend, because that it is terribly unfair to the workie, but I'm just struck all the time by how much better i feel, and how terrible my last relationship was towards the end.
Like, I couldn't get my ex to commit to our plans for the weekend more than about 2 days in advance. And planning a holiday together? forget about it! Unless it was camping with his family between christmas and new years, not a hope for me!
But with the workie, its so easy. We're planning a holiday in june together. and not just any holiday - we're going overseas, to an island resort for 2 weeks. i'm so excited, I could just burst! We're going to be able to spend 2 weeks drinking cocktails from coconuts, and lazing on the beach, and scuba diving. I'm really hoping to learn how to surf, because I have always wanted to do that.
Anyways, I think I'd better get moving now. I have just finished making a couple of doorstops for my little unit at my parents place, so i might head home and decide on some dinner.
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