the precipice

i'm getting more and more nervous about my new job.

I was supposed to be starting much later this year, but the other girl who was supposed to start ASAP bailed on the job. after she'd given them written acceptance. don't even get me started on how completely stupid i think she is. talk about burning bridges. holy crap.

she keeps e-mailing and texting me. but i'm kinda mad at her. i can't help it. she's put so many people out, and i find that really frustrating. plus, there were a lot of people who put a lot of time into helping her sort herself out. she kept telling us how she hated her job, so we encouraged her to apply for this new one, and we did everything we could. one girl spent literally hours on the phone to her, and we are all disappointed.

and i think i'm a little frightened. of the change, of the unknown.

see, whenever i tell someone about my new job, the eyebrows raise, they make that funny grunting noise. i'm sure that most of it is pure snobbery. i'm leaving private practice to join the government department. i won't earn as much in the long term. i won't ever become the big boss. i don't know that i really want to be that. certainly not at my age.

but its the precipice. i'm looking, and i'm scared!